Monday, November 12, 2007

Fashion Advice From Me To America.

I am not a trendy dresser. It just isn't me. And even if I was a more fashionable person, I still recognize that some fashions just aren't for everyone. For example, take skinny jeans-"Skinny jeans? Flattering if you are skinny enough so they fit like regular straight-leg jeans." Which is almost like no-one. So if you aren't one of those people, just buy straight leg jeans and be happy.


And to the millions of people I see out in public on a daily basis sporting "muffin tops" and other similar fashion atrocities I offer one small hint of advice: Clothes that fit actually will make you look nicer and slimmer when contrasted with the too small pants and shirts that you find the need to squeeze into, and when buying pants think "mid-rise" not "low-rise" please. You (and everyone else) would feel better about yourself and treat yourself better. As an added bonus you would be able to eat, breathe, and even sit comfortably! That would be shocking now, wouldn't it?

PS Thanks to wikipedia for the picture and detailed definition of "muffin top", and especially the following enlightenment, "An additional derivation is "Split Top Muffin" to describe seeing the "muffin-top" from behind with the jeans so low as to expose the top of the gluteal ridge." Glad they don't offer a picture of that!

Yech!

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

LOL! This is hilarious. I didn't know it had a name, but it's easy to recognize. Lately, all the sweaters in the stores are longer, so we can hope the fashion scene will improve. Too bad you can't publish this to the world!

Sheyenne said...

Too funny. I just learned the term "muffin top" a couple of weeks ago when my sister was lamenting hers. (She doesn't let it all hang out though!) I've been working on a nice little muffin top of my own as of late, and I promise not to expose mine to the world either. My husband is the only one who gets to see my baked goods!

Sheyenne said...

Sorry, I guess that last comment I made sounded like a little innuendo. I was only referring to my muffin top belly! Flab, people. I'm talking about tummy flab!

Janssen said...

Julie, I deeply appreciate you not sharing a picture of anyone's "split top muffin." Vomit.

Also, everyone, step away from the low rise jeans.

Bart said...

Yikes! I agree - people need to keep those scary muffin tops (and ESPECIALLY split top muffins!) under wraps!

melissa said...

i agree too! I had a roommate with a split top muffin-we tried to tell her it didn't look good that way! some people don't get it-which is unfortunate for the rest of us!

Anonymous said...

Others have said it all.